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Aaron was gulping down his anger with cheap vodka, hiding from the world to drown in his self-induced sorrows. It was a routine, at times – fighting then drinking, drinking then fighting. It was as if he wanted it to happen. Today was no different, and the tears that ran down my face were a testament to how the day had gone. I had been beaten down by resentment; disgraced for having an opinion. I knew, at this moment, he hated me. And yet, I loved him. Don’t ask me how or why, but I did, and I wanted to marry him for some god-forsaken reason.

We had been together for over two years, and I felt it was time to make that commitment. The night I brought it up, he began ranting at me again. He asked me "what difference would it make for us" and "why should we pay for something that wouldn't affect the nature of our relationship?" I couldn’t tell him, I didn’t want to tell him. I wanted to be myself again; not living in worry about losing him to someone else because I didn’t fulfill his sexual fantasies. The resentment he had suppressed came out in an exasperated sigh and ‘okay, fine’. I cried myself to sleep that night; not because I was happy, but I knew he wasn’t happy with me again. I was just an annoyance to him, and I just wanted him to love me as I was.

The day we went ring shopping at the mall, my spirits were high on the illusionary hope that it would be a good time. To my chagrin, Aaron didn’t wait long in turning the intended enjoyable day into a depressing endeavor. If he wasn’t silent, he was whining about the stone or the price. I did what I could to keep from giving up; telling myself it would all work out in the end and he was just having a bad day. I settled on one that I really liked. After that, Aaron wouldn’t leave me alone about the fact it was a diamond ring and it was fourteen-hundred dollars. What he didn’t take into account was the ring was a set, and two rings were included in that price. I tried explaining this to him, but it only made the situation worse. It was more about the fact I was talking and not what I was saying.

The walk to the car was a dreadful one. He wouldn’t stop yelling at me about my choice in rings. The resentment he expelled was horrifying, and I just wanted to curl up in a dark corner and die. I didn’t understand what I did wrong; what I did to deserve such treatment, but I must have done something. I wasn’t in the state of mind to connect the dots of our entire relationship to this moment. I wasn't able to think about the fact that this was the way it would be throughout its entirety. I was too lost to comprehend the reality of the situation.

I was terrified by the level of depression that slapped me in the face. It was something I had never felt before, and I didn’t know if I would ever climb out of it. I crawled into bed as soon as we got home, and I didn’t leave until Aaron asked me to pick him up from the mall the next afternoon. No words had passed between us during that time, and nothing was said as I picked him up and drove back home. Silence endured through the evening, as he spent his time down in the basement, drinking. I stayed upstairs in bed, not wanting to wake up each time I fell asleep.

I dozed off at one point and woke up to the light in the bedroom being flipped on. I couldn’t see right away, but I knew Aaron was swaying in the doorway, and there was something in his hand. He stumbled over to the bed and sat down, picking up my right hand and shoving a ring on my finger. Shock raced through my body and I sat up. My heart sank as I realized this was his idea of a proposal: angry, drunk, and the wrong hand. I should’ve told him off, but a part of me was happy as well. Perhaps, despite this horrid beginning, it would all work out in the end. Everything screamed at me to run, run away, but my battered heart was willing to give this man a second chance in hopes that my happy ending would become a reality.

 

Another short story from the memory bank. I want to add more to this, but if I do that, I will have to write a book. (oh wait.)

Anyways, comments/critique welcome, but don't bash the content. Thanks.

Featured:

:bulletpurple: Writer's Ink Weekly Round-Up 9/23/13
:bulletpurple: Inspire the Uninspired 9/27/13
:bulletpurple: Various journals
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-10-08
Cheap Vodka by *SMAdams Sad and heartbreaking with no light at the end of the tunnel, but shows the human nature of exploring, forgiving and the road to finding one's self. ( Suggested by Craazhy and Featured by inknalcohol )
:iconcraazhy:
Long before I finished, I could sense an intense significance in the material. You set the tone well and never once fail to deliver each sentence with substance.

You've covered a lot of sensitive subjects with tact. This is a quality that is all-too-rare in modern literature. Maybe you draw that capability from actual experiences. If so, it is in some way a positive. I don't mean to sound cynical, but I believe writing is fifty percent knowing your language and fifty percent having a life worth talking about.

I have a couple technical criticisms. One concerning the overall structure of the work and another over more hair-splitting specifics. I feel as though the paragraphs could have been either formed in alternative ways or splintered into separate thoughts in order to provide a more fluid read.

I would point things out, but I feel it would do more good as a peer if I didn't. Give-a-man-a-fish sort of thing. And if it's something you don't notice, then perhaps I'm being too subjective.

As for hair-splitting specifics, there were a few instances where I believe certain sentences could have been better off as two separate sentences.

Also, I've never enjoyed the look of digits in prose narration. I feel as though $1400 would be better as fourteen-hundred dollars.

Other than that, your grammar is proper and your language is clean. You've told a poignant tale with lucidity and this reader is better for it. :)
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
22 out of 22 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconwyldhoney:
wyldhoney Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I am SO sorry you had to go through that, Shara!! :( I hope you have found happiness now!
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I am as happy as one can get. 5 months ag0, I married an amazing man who has been taking wonderful care of me. Truly blessed right now. :heart:
Reply
:icononetwistedpoet:
onetwistedpoet Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Stirring work.
Leaves me inspired to share stories of my own.
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, and I am glad. I really hope that sharing stories will help others in the process. :heart:
Reply
:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Congratulation on the DD, Madam! I never remember seeing this in my messages, but I'm glad I've found it. You deserve it! :hug:
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much, darling! :hug:
Reply
:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're quite welcome. :nod:
Reply
:iconchrislvssatsuki:
chrislvssatsuki Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Student General Artist
Congrats on the DD I can easily understand why it got one and it is well deserved. By only looking at about the first sentence i was drawn in and it was the rest that kept me interested, it is extremely well written you did a really good job ^^
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :heart: I am glad you enjoyed.
Reply
:iconmaxxtoron:
MaxxToron Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow. That is a powerful piece. Your portrayal of your character's emotions are so well done that by the end I felt incredibly sorry that she was in this position. The terrible truth is that people are like that, and there's not much we can do about it, even though we may wish that it wasn't real. The volatile sort of romance portrayed in your story is an incredible representation of such a terrible truth of society. A job well done. C'est magnifique. 
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! Personal experiences really help put stories together, quite often. :heart:
Reply
:iconmaxxtoron:
MaxxToron Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wait...you actually had to go through that.
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yes. This is a true story. My ex wasn't a very good person, unfortunately for my sake. 
Reply
:iconmaxxtoron:
MaxxToron Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My God... I am SO sorry. That must be absolutely awful. 
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It is why I am in therapy. :) Though, writing this helped a lot.


Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :heart: :love:
 
Reply
:iconcristinewakesuphappy:
cristinewakesuphappy Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
congratulations! time to celebrate: :iconwineplz: and :iconflowersplz:
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:giggle: Yay 
Reply
:iconacidrain99:
AcidRain99 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Woah, this is awesome! Can't wait to see what happens next! :D
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hopefully the willingness to write it will come soon. One step at a time. :)
Reply
:icondiphylla:
diphylla Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Congrats on the DD! :pumpkin:
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:icondiphylla:
diphylla Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
welcome :woohoo:
Reply
:iconwordeea:
wordeea Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh my.. how sad ... sadly, lots of us have been there
congrats on the DD !!
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thankfully, it isn't the end of the story. :)

Thanks! :heart:
Reply
:iconwordeea:
wordeea Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
good ;)
Reply
:iconsrcpcsoha:
srcpcsoha Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Congrats on the DD! Have a good day!
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :heart:
Reply
:iconsrcpcsoha:
srcpcsoha Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Student Digital Artist
you're welcome!
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
    Congrats on the DD! :dalove:
    Have a nice day! :heart:
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
    My pleasure :happybounce:
Reply
:iconlostgryphin:
LostGryphin Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
congrats on the DD
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. :)
Reply
:iconmagnius159:
Magnius159 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Happy to see this get a DD Emoji39
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:blush: Thank you!
Reply
:iconeuxiom:
Euxiom Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013
Awesome work :nod:
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:icongraphix-goddess:
Graphix-Goddess Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Professional Writer
Oh my goodness... this stirred up an awful lot of emotions in me... sad, angry... worried.....

Very good writing!
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:hug: Thank you. I really want to share these stories in hopes it will make some sort of impact and help others overcome some of their own experiences. These things are painful, but support can really encourage healing - even for me by sharing. :heart:
Reply
:icongraphix-goddess:
Graphix-Goddess Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Professional Writer

I agree. Support and Rapport are priceless.

We want our readers to be affected and sometimes even changed by our stories - that's a wonderful and powerful heart to have. That is the heart of a true wrtier ! Keep it up!

Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart: I will. It is a passion and a goal. :) 
Reply
:iconsleyf:
Sleyf Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hi! :wave:
Congratulations!  This piece has been chosen as a feature in our Weekly Ruund-up!

Thanks for writing it and choosing to submit it to us :D
From the Admin Team
:iconwritersink:
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :heart:
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:iconsleyf:
Sleyf Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:iconcreativemikey:
creativemikey Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Professional Photographer
romantic and self centered in a twisted way that turned into magic
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
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